In the Face of Pain and Loss
by Stormydee
Summary: Almost like a episode. A shooting in the court room leaves two CSI in hospital and an injured one helping to process the scene. As the case twists and turns it pushes the CSI's to the limmit. Yet justice  will be served and actions rewarded. rnr.
1. Chapter 1

Please read and review.

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing, I just play and everything belongs to creators

Ray's voice rang out clearly through the room as he told the jury and those present of the case. It was a sad one but today justice was being served. Catherine was only half listening as she watched the faces of the jury, reading their feelings flickering through their faces. The door creaking catches her attention, turning she sees a young man slip into the back, taking one of the last seats in the gallery.

Three shots ring out, Catherine feels adrenaline rush through her as she reaches for her gun. Two bailiffs move quickly out the door, tense silence follows. Next to her she sees Nick has a hand on his gun as well.

Movement in the corner of her eye causes her to turn, the man who had slipped in late is standing with a gun raised. Turning back she jumps as Nick's gun goes off and fire is returned. The shots are wide but she realizes he isn't shooting at her colleague but the judge.

Ducking down Catherine moves quickly out the end of the bench and along behind the jury, everyone is either ducking down for cover or frozen; no one notices her. For a moment she wonders why the bailiffs didn't return but her gut knows the answer.

Another series of shots ring out and she doesn't try to distinguish where they originated from; she is sure of the target. Coming out between the end of the jury bench and the witness stand she looks for Ray. He wasn't in sight, which hopefully meant he had got down.

Centring herself she stood, the shooter had moved up the isle and seemed frozen; she stared at him. Holding her gun steady she tried to get a focus as she squeezes the trigger; feeling the kick through her wrists echoing into her shoulders.

One shot is returned, it hits her gun and refracts grazing her shoulder; pain is sudden. Her vision blurs but she watches as the man ten feet away from her sways but doesn't fall; his shoulder is hit. He closes the distance between them and knocks her gun a way. Something floods through her and she feels heat from the barrel of the gun before the impact with the niche of her neck and shoulder; right where the bullet first grazed. This time she recognizes the flood, anger and she shoves him hard; here losing wasn't an option. She felt his hands closing on her shoulder, the pain flared and she hit him hard; her fist connected with the side of his skull and he slumped. His weight caused her to fall backwards.

Catherine lay still, she could feel his weight on her and hear the noise in the court room; he was heavy. Her right side throbbed, she tried to push him off but couldn't move him. Taking deep breaths she tried to calm herself, she had to keep a cool head thankful for her training; hoping someone had the sense to call 911.

A voice above her told her to stay still and then the man was rolled off of her; Catherine started to sit. Feeling her head spin slightly she waited to gain her sense of balance; taking in the room. She could see paramedics working; she watched to see where they were. Suddenly two came from behind her, her heart dropped Ray was on a gurney.

People were moving in and out now of the room now, cops were pulling people out and paramedics were flooding in . A hand on her shoulder made her yelp, glancing up she found a uni standing behind her.

" Ma'am can I help you out of here." The young man offered her a hand. Slowly pushing herself up she found her whole body was aching, the officer saw her pain and called for a paramedic.

The woman who came to treat her calmly ignored her protests as she lead her out to the bus and sat her on the back. Catherine let the medic poke her as she looked around, three ambulances were leaving and four more were waiting; it looked like another was packing up to go.

It took her a moment to recognize Ecklie weaving through the mess and poking his nose in the back of the bus's waiting; making his way towards her.

" Catherine, what happened?" The lab director stopped in front of her.

" I don't know, one moment everything was normal and then shots just started going off." She muttered, right now she didn't really care what had happened, she wanted to know about her people. It wasn't like she would be processing it all; she was a witness.

" Right well it was the last thing we needed, from what the witness statements are saying Nick tried confrontation and got shot for it and Ray stood up to go to him and got the same; you ended up the hero. How bad is she?" Ecklie addressed the medic.

" She will be okay, she is going to be sore and she needs some cleaning up but it nothing to major. Mostly it is going to be this graze, the burns on her neck and hand then bruising from her tussle." The woman summed up .

" Does she need to go to the hospital?" He asked and Catherine started to protest, afraid of where this was going to go.

" If she will see a doctor within the next twenty four hours then I will bandage her up but she will need to see someone eventually; I would advise the hospital though." The medic hesitated.

" I need her. Catherine days and swing are maxed out. Nick and Ray are on their way to the hospital and Greg is in Reno. I will get you Sara." She glared at her boss as he finally addressed her.

" I'm a witness, you process it." Catherine stated, glaring at him. It wasn't that she particularly wanted to go to the hospital but she didn't really want to deal with this mess either.

" Trust me I have already spoken to the DA and the sheriff; they feel this is too important let slide and you and Sara are two of the best. Your shift has the best solve rate and you are a good CSI, just keep your head." Ecklie answered calmly, she could tell he had already thought this through; funny how this was probably the only compliment she would get from him for the next few years.

" Fine, patch me up. I will see my doctor once I get some of this sorted out. Do it fast, I'm evidence so it will all get pulled apart later." She directed her snarl at the medic who didn't seem bothered by it.

The woman quickly covered the whole thing on her neck and taped the pad in place. Then wrapped the hand, with a pad over the burn and told her she was set. Standing up she winced, her body was not happy; she would probably have bruises all over from the last fall.

" Is your kit in your truck? Sara will be here soon. I need to get back to the lab." Ecklie moved to leave.

Staring at his back she groaned, this was a big enough scene; she did not feel like it. Working her way through people she made her way to the side parking lot and unlocked the truck. Pulling the kit out of the back she tried not to cry; everything throbbed. Searching for her purse she dug out some Tylenol.

Hoping the pills would take effect quickly she moved back into the court house, settling on the task at hand.

Setting her kit inside the perimeter of tape she began to wander through the scene. It had started in the lobby, past the metal detector; posing the first question. It appeared that the first suspect had fired a shot at the bailiff outside the door and then killed the two bailiffs who had come out of the courtroom before being killed. The first bailiff shot must have been taken to hospital because there was blood pool but no body.

Then there was a break in the mess to move into the court room; thankfully it held only the body of the suspect whom she had killed. The room looked like a war zone. Hugging the benches she made her way to the front, pausing to look at the man; it struck her how young he was. With a sigh she moved back to where her kit was.

Opening the silver box and donning a pair of latex gloves she slipped into the focused world of collecting all the debris. Time ticked by as she printed surfaces, collected trace, examined the metal detector and located bullets. At some point Sara arrived and took the main room, then David Phillips who removed the bodies. For Catherine it was all a blur, she was just existing and coasting through on autopilot. Trying to think about Nick and Ray, Lindsay and what she would hear or anything except how much pain she felt and how long this was going to take to get sorted out. Finally her scene was finished and she stood up, her back protesting from the position it had been curled into. Glancing around the room she found Sara watching her. " Ready to head back to the lab?"

" I guess." Catherine muttered and gathered her evidence.

" How are you feeling?" Sara came over to help her, seeing the pain cross her face as she started to walk.

" Fine. Lets get this sorted out and closed so I can go and take some painkillers to sleep." She followed the brunette out to the trucks.

" Did they clean it out Cath? That looks sketchy." Sara stopped her, getting a good look at her shoulder. The tape had been moved and loosened letting the pad slip as she had worked.

" Leave it, lets go." Catherine blew her off, not in the mood; she knew Sara meant well.

" Fine. For now. We will talk later though, I know you." Sara gave her arm a squeeze before turning to head for her own truck.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry this one is short, will be built but I have been kind of busy with stuff. Feedback is soo appreciated, please.**

**Disclaimer: same as always all are owned by creators**

At the lab Catherine could feel herself starting to drag, and she knew Sara saw it. She was on a stool pouring over the scene photos while Sara reviewed the security footage. They had sent away samples of everything to DNA and trace, now they were trying to figure out the intended target.

Currently they had two suspects in the morgue with absolutely no clues to their identities. Sara was identifying everyone they had on tape and looking up backgrounds while she laid out the crime scene on the table.

She heard Sara's pager go off but didn't pay much attention to it until the brunette called her. " Catherine , Wendy wants to know how you are feeling and how well they cleaned you up?"

" Where are you going with that?" She asked, guarding herself from getting any one else in her business.

" Relax, can I take off the bandages and look for a moment? I can probably clean it up and tape it better anyways. Let me get the first aid kit." Sara reiterated her thought leaving the room.

" I guess I didn't get any say in that." She mumbled towards the brunette's retreating back.

Five minutes later Sara was back with a grin on her face. " I managed one better."

Doc Robbins followed her into the room carrying a first aid kit. Sara didn't stop grinning as she placed her hands on the supervisor's knees and pushed her stool back to a clear end of the table.

" Tell me why this is necessary?" She mumbled as her hand was moved onto the table and Doc Robbins began to poke at it.

" Because you didn't go to the hospital and my opinion is the medic did a poor job." Al Robbins replied, intently moving the reddened skin and looking for breaks. " This is a minor burn, the gun barrel was hot and you flinched away from it shifting your grip so just the joint of the thumb contacted the barrel. Didn't break the skin."

" Sara what are you looking for?" She addressed her colleague who was holding a strip of tenser bandage to go over the gauze.

" Wendy found two samples of female DNA of the bullet, one we assume is yours the other is at this point unknown. There was though also two types of trace, one separate from the DNA and assumed to be from the gun barrel and the other mixed with. Did you have any kind of body lotion on or perfume dabbed around? Hodges is running it but if we eliminate you as the source then we know it is from the second donor. And I was kind of worried about you so I figured if Doc took a look it would be safer." Sara explained, calmly watching as her neck was uncovered.

Catherine could feel Doc poking it, he let Sara rub a swab over it and then applied some creme and covered it with gauze. " It barely grazed you, it probably feels worse than it looks; especially since I have on good authority you wrestled with one of the suspects. Keep it covered at work but once you get home I would let it air out a bit and maybe put some aloe on it."

" Alright, and Sara no I wasnt wearing any body lotion or perfume; it shouldn't be from me." Catherine replied calmly silently hoping that what ever the compound was it would be unique enough to give them a narrow suspect list.

" I'll let Wendy know the." Sara got cut off as the spunky lab tech came flying into the door way. " Guess I wont have to go far."

" What? Right. So I got a hit on the DNA profile. One was, as we assumed Catherine but the other matched a homicide case. Regina Camille, twenty one years old, never solved; suspect released on insufficient evidence. She was shot in the chest, through and through; the bulled that killed her was never recovered." Wendy spewed out fast pace.

" Did it ever go to court?" Catherine asked, a motive and target immediately forming in her mind.

" Yes, judge ruled early though, with no bullet there was no case. Same judge who's court room was made a crime scene today. Um I printed the case file but I have to get back; I still have a bunch of your stuff to process." Wendy handed them the print outs and lab results and headed out.

" Great. I see motive, target but not means. Who would have had the bullet? Case is almost a year old. The bullet would have needed to be stored and located. It seems unlikely that the killer would keep the bullet to go after someone with and I doubt that there would be a coincidence like that. Guess we need to get Brass and talk to the family." Catherine sighed, flipping through the report a bit; it had been a dead end case.

" How about I go with him, then you can stay here." Sara tried to compromise.

" No I'm coming, if I have to work then I'm going to work." Catherine stood and followed Sara to the lockers to get jackets.

In the truck she did agree to let Sara drive, so she tipped her head back and tried to get some rest. It was a complete fail, her mind just kept wandering. Suddenly she realized that she had barely checked her phone; five missed texts. The first two were from Wendy, third from Hodges and two from Nancy. Reading the messages she smiled, her sister had gotten herself onto Nick and Ray's care staff and both were going to be fine; there was also a mini lecture for her. With a sigh she replied, then focused back on the task at hand; they were pulling up to Mrs Camille's home.

The case of Regina Camille had been a day shift case and no progress had been made nor had fresh eyes been called in. So neither CSI had been to the home or met the mother, yet when they pulled up a woman opened the door and Catherine froze.

Catherine glanced at Sara who saw recognition hit her. The woman had lost her husband almost five years ago, she had worked the case and seen it to the end but not to trial; the perp hung himself before he could be sentenced. Explaining this to Sara she walked calmly up to the door, the woman greeted both of them; remembering the supervisor.

The interview was hard, this woman had lost so much and they all felt it; it seemed cruel to dredge up her pain again. Yet still something nagged at Catherine, she remembered the woman's face as she got the news. There was anger there, even months later at the trial the anger had been there; it had been fuelled. Today she did not feel it, but her gut was not enough to go on.


	3. Chapter 3

**another chapter. please please please review if you like or dont ( if it sucks i wouldnt mind hearing that too)**

**disclaimer: same as always**

Back at the lab neither CSI really knew how to process the woman's reactions. She knew for Catherine had been confused and she really didn't know what to think. Sara wasn't sure that the mother was a lead or just a person denied closure a time to many and had separated herself from it. It was back to the drawing board, they needed leads and evidence to move forward.

Sara was starting to worry a bit about Catherine, her friend was dragging and pain was becoming visible in her face. Knowing Catherine hated to show any weakness and was usually sharp and tough worried her. Re-inhabiting their lay out room she made Catherine sit and began to lay everything they had out in front of her friend; right now they need Catherine's quick mind.

Stepping back she chose a spot on the other side of the table; this way they were both seeing everything. Silence fell as both women stared at the puzzle in front of them. Their two suspects were dead after a target that could not be confirmed in any way and two of their own men were injured in the mess as well as Catherine. The evidence was a circle, each person in gallery watching could be somehow involved or completely unrelated, the judge could be involved or completely unrelated; they had nothing solid. A folder moving caught Sara's attention, Catherine had a notepad and was working on something, she would have to wait for her friend to feel ready to talk it out.

Watching the folders Catherine was choosing she realized she was compiling back grounds of all the witnesses. Realizing that the files were incomplete she slipped out; they needed back grounds on their suspects. By the time she was back her coworker had several pieces of paper spread over the evidence; her head was in her hands.

"What do you have?" Sara asked handing her the last two files which Catherine promptly opened and began to scan ; a second later her face lit up and she smiled.

" We got something. Look the jury has a ex member of the snake backs, long record but clear for the past six years. Case up was a banger from the seventh street killers; the boys were snake backs. They were young it was either a initiation or a suicide mission. Its a stretch but I don't know." Catherine gestured to her papers.

"Its something does it fit with where they were firing ?" She asked moving to stand behind Catherine, both looking at the scene photos.

"They got put off early but they sprayed the front. I remember thinking the judge was the target but I was in panic mode. It could be anyone, a gang hit in a court room is not their style." Catherine groaned pulling the scene sketch closer.

" Don't cancel it, the ex snake back was among the injured. They were young and they got the mission, what is in their rap sheet?" Sara moved for the two young suspect's files, Ozzy Domete and Jaz Redez.

" Both have a couple assault arrests and they were both caught in a drug bust. That's it, they bargained out of doing time on the drug charge. The gang would have been out for blood, that was months ago; surprising they didn't just get hit." Catherine continued to scan the file.

" They have ties? Still why go after the ex in court? I don't get how it matters how he would vote against a banger when he has been out so long. Why would the gang care now?" She leaned over, the blonde had donned her glasses to read the file.

" Brothers, Jaz has a brother at the top and Ozzy's brother died a ' hero' in a fight. That's what kept them alive and probably also sent them to their deaths. But I agree it isnt logical, although it could make a good cover up and hold us up a while? Or that could be what they want us to think." Catherine laid it out again.

" If is a cover it is a pay off, but either way the gang is involved. Can we get the snake back's finances?" Sara asked.

" It will be cash, we are more likely to find where it came from then any sign of them getting it. So cover up we are back looking for the source and the target. Back to the judge?" Catherine sighed.

" Well or someone else in the front of the room. Judge is most likely, should we pull up his cases?" Sara moved to sit beside Catherine.

" Something about the widow is still bothering me, and that bullet. It sends a message but I'm not sure exactly what. The judge wasn't injured, when will he be back in court?" Catherine flipped to a new sheet and began writing, Sara was glad that her boss had neat scrawl so that she could follow the thought pattern.

" This afternoon, the scene hasn't been released so he is in another court room. Different case, the one you were at is on hold until we find out if what this is." Sara studied her face, unsure what her colleague was thinking.

" What time?" Catherine glanced down at her phone.

" One thirty. Its quarter after now." Sara was a little bit confused.

"Why don't you and Brass go and see if the widow is home and bring her in. If you don't mind I will wait here." Catherine told her.

She could see that something else was running though her mind; she just wasn't sure what. With a nod she headed down to find Brass.


	4. Chapter 4

**So after this maybe one more chapter. please review.**

**disclaimer: same as always**

Sitting in her office she waited for Sara to text her, she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach; as a mom she knew the answer. But she really didn't want to confront it. Her phone lit up with a message and her feeling was confirmed. With a sigh she headed for the truck, not bothering to change from the coveralls she had donned after the fight; she knew where to look. It had been laziness on her part for hoping it would be easy.

At the court house the bailiff looked surprised to see her, then glanced in the direction of the crime scene tape. She shook her head and headed down to the court room, slipping quietly in she felt the room shift as the judge saw her. Catherine saw something in the man's eye as he watched her take a seat beside her suspect; keeping her face calm.

Reaching over she took both of the woman's hands and waited. Keeping her eyes on Mrs Camille she understood; this woman had lost everyone. She had come to finish it, yet her fight was gone and Catherine felt her defeat. She simply sat and waited for a recess, there was no need to make a scene.

As the judge called for a recess, finally Catherine stood and pulled Eliza Camille with her. They walked out quietly, Catherine was thankful the woman did not fight her; she didn't have the energy left. As they exited the building she heard someone call her name but didn't turn back.

At the precinct she handed the woman off to a slightly stunned Jim Brass and then headed upstairs to CSI and straight to the locker room. Dropping onto the bench she let out her breathe and finally allowed herself to feel. Leaning her head against the locker she rested. How long she stayed like that she didn't know but when she sat up and opened it the mirror told her she now had a red blotch on her forehead; it almost made her laugh.

Standing up she located some stuff to take a hot shower and began to strip. Since the locker room had become uni sex she had began to avoid showering at work but today the only person who might walk in on her was Sara; and anymore she really didn't care. Shower, then her own clean clothes, home, a couple more painkillers and then finally her bed. When she got up, if she got up, she would go and see the guys.

Undoing the buttons on the coveralls and letting them drop to her waist a low explicative made her turn and gasp. Catherine was completely frozen for a second as Conrad Ecklie's face became redder by the second; her boss had just seen her in her bra.

"I'm sorry Ecklie, I didn't think anyone was around; you never come in here." Catherine stuttered pulling the coveralls up around her.

"Catherine, your back. I didn't realize." Her boss seemed frozen and shocked.

"getting thrown backwards and struggling with some one bigger than you will do that. Working after didn't help any. If you want me to stay for anything you are out of your mind." Shock wore off fast as she realized how close she was to getting out of here; the nuisance gawking at her was the only one who could attempt to make her stay.

"That's not uh why I came. I just got a call, you need to go to a press conference on the case tomorrow night; they want the lead CSI there." Something in Ecklie's voice made her a little suspicious that he knew something more or had signed her up for this because he wanted out.

" I thought press was your job." She mumbled, more and more wanting her shower; and rid of people she really didnt like all that well.

"They asked for you y name and that is all I'm to tell you." She spun to look at him again; that was to weird. But her patience was done.

"Fine. I would like to change and I am way past off shift."Catherine kept her temper and turned to her locker waiting silently for her boss to leave.

Once the room was empty Catherine wasted no time getting her shower but by the time she got out Sara was waiting for her on the bench; she just chuckled. At least Sara didn't bother her, she could keep on her way towards her bed.

"Hey. She confessed, hired the gang to do it they failed she was going to. The bullet was given to her by her daughter's killer; boyfriend who thought she was pregnant. He came to her later and explained and apologized; then skipped town. She wanted the Judge to understand what it was to lose someone because he had watched her lose her husband without caring and then her daughter pushed her to the edge." Sara rattled it off and Catherine could hear exhaustion in her voice.

"Why the bullet?" Catherine went about changing, knowing Sara saw her back but didn't say anything.

" Her husband's death sent her daughter down a bad path got in with people and made poor choices. Honestly I think she was alone hurting and looking for someone to blame; indifference is good and bad. Judge is going to learn that." Sara shrugged.

" He has to be though. At least it is done; you heading home?" Catherine slipped on her jacket and grabbed her purse.

" Yea. I'm driving you. Brass and I have decided that you are in no shape to drive." Sara stood and took her hand pulling her towards the door.

Catherine followed silently, and the ride was amazingly quick and quiet; she almost fell asleep in the truck. At home she swallowed two pail pills and then just dropped.

She didn't wake until her alarm went off, took another shower and made herself some good food before checking her phone. She smiled when she saw that there was only one message from Sara; she was driving her tonight. Catherine still wasn't sure what that was all about.

**reviews would so help the next and last chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

**So last chapter, please tell me what you thought.**

**Disclaimer: same as always, I own nothing**

They arrived outside city hall and Jim Brass came up to meet them. Suddenly she felt rather under dressed; Jim was in a dressier suit than usual. " Hi, come around this way. They will be starting soon it should be quick and painless. I know you want to go visit Nick and Ray."

Catherine trailed behind, Sara slowed up to keep pace with her making Brass look back. She didn't feel like rushing if it wasn't absolutely necessary; she wasn't all that eager to see Ecklie again either. Still they moved around behind the crowd to the group near the steps. Catherine was surprised to see the Judge standing with the Mayor and Ecklie; she wasn't surprised to see her boss's face turn red at the sight of her. For some reason right now that didn't bother her, he knew he had pushed her to hard and realized to late just how hard; she was glad that he was uncomfortable.

The mayor came over and shook her hand before walking up onto the steps; flanked by Ecklie, the Judge and several cops. She watched as the media swarmed in to hear the press release; at least this was a positive one. Catherine had no use for the things, she was only ever called to these things as stage candy; to show unity between the departments.

Listening as the mayor rambled about the case, giving the media exactly what they wanted. It was details she already knew and slowly she began to filter out his voice; making it back noise so that she could think. There were several things she needed to do today after visiting the boys, including groceries and locating Lindsay to explain and contradict anything she had heard on the news. Then she was going to fall back into bed and try to let her body heal so that it didn't execute any subconscious plans to put her in even more pain.

Suddenly Sara was nudging and she jumped back into what was being said; something about risking bodily harm for another. Instantly she regretted tuning out, he was both describing her basic job and something more; her duty was to serve and protect. Still the reporters were lapping it up double time.

And then the judge stepped forward, then Ecklie, he started talking too; she really wanted to tune out but had determined she needed to listen. After that the judge turned partially to her and she listened intently. " Thank you, twice you protected my court room. Putting your life on the line and going above and beyond the call of duty to close this."

Catherine gulped, she had caught enough for realization to click, although she wished she had caught the first bit. She really didn't want to be here right now, she had always found these things rather stupid. For civilians maybe it was appropriate but not when she had taken the oath that all law enforcement did.

It was announced and she stepped forward, keeping her eyes down; she was not thrilled. Now she wanted to just get out of here. The mayor placed the medal around her neck and she forced herself not to flinch away from him. Plastering a fake smile on her face she nodded her thanks and shook each man's hand and quickly slipped back to stand beside Sara.

There was a flurry of questions and then it was over; Catherine urged Sara back towards the truck quickly to escape. The brunette smiled and followed her, as she pulled the medal from around her neck and stuffed it in her pocket. She heard the locks pop and she reached for the door handle as a voice stopped her; her shoulders slumped.

" Catherine." She turned and saw the Judge and Ecklie behind her; her boss had called out to her.

"Yes Ecklie?" Catherine replied trying not to show her frustration.

" Catherine, Ms Willows? I wanted to personally thank you for your work on this case. Conrad expressed that he had not been aware of the extent of your injury when he asked you to take it. Truly, I have never, I realized something when you stepped in front; I don't know how you can do it." The man fumbled with his words as Catherine searched for an escape route but found none.

" Two of our colleagues were injured in the incident in the court house; more critically than I was. We are going to see them now." She redirected, pulling open the vehicle door and tossing her purse into the truck.

" Catherine, if you need some time off I will make it happen." Ecklie cut in as she climbed into the cab.

She nodded politely and tried not to growl, there was no way she could take much time off when they would already be two people short. Nick and Ray were the ones who would need the recovery time; she just needed a night of good sleep and some food. She had long ago learned how to tough it out when it came to bruises, Eddie had given her more than a few and this was no different.

Pulling the door shut she nodded to Sara, she did not want to stay and visit with the two men who were both kiss ups. She had long ago learned to hate kiss ups and political agendas, which both of those men had. Yet she also understood where the Judge was coming from, it was terrifying to realize someone was gunning for you; she had learned when someone had gone after her and her daughter to get to her father. It was a reality check, and yet she had in some ways become almost desensitized to the fact that some people didn't realize how many enemies they made or people they hurt; she had come to think of them as perps and look for victims. When those who did more harm than good came to hard times sometimes she felt it was almost a type of justice; even when they served justice.

They both rode in silence to the hospital, Nick and Ray were sharing a room and when they walked in it was a relief to see both of them were sitting up. Nick had a cast around his arm but other than that looked in good shape and Ray's bandages were hidden by the ugly blue hospital gown. She was glad to see that neither of them were critically injured; her team would be back together in no time.

They visited for a while, until a nurse came in and told them it was time for the bandages to be changed, which the girls used to excuse themselves.

Finally Catherine was standing at her front door as Sara backed out. The door was unlocked and Catherine pushed it open, this was a sign her daughter was home. She had just ditched her coat and purse when Lindsay came bounding down the stairs.

" What happened?" The teenager draped herself over the railing, there was both concern and curiosity in her voice.

" What have you heard?" Catherine countered, moving to sit on the couch and letting Lindsay take the other end.

" I was at Meg's and her mom came in and told me I should listen to the news. So we went downstairs and it was talking about the crime lab taking on a case that had hurt their own and the supervisor was working for closure though injured and then it showed some pictures and it looked freaky. Then later we heard that two CSI's had been sent to hospital and I hadn't heard from you." Lindsay rambled.

" Its true. There was a shoot out at the court house, Nick, Ray and I were there and the guys were injured; I was involved but I wasn't seriously hurt. I worked the case and it is closed. But Linds you are going to hear a lot more about that case, for several reasons but you need to ignore it." She told the girl firmly, seeing the questions pop into her eyes.

" How bad were you hurt? Your hand is wrapped, what else?" Lindsay scrutinized and Catherine thought better of sheltering her teenager.

"I'm not exactly meant for hand to hand combat Linds but it is not serious hon." She assured her daughter before pulling her shirt up and off; turning so she could see.

Lindsay made a small gasp and Catherine heard her daughter squeak. "Mom" Gently she pulled the girl into her arms, the girl curled to her, head against her chest and hand finding a spot against her skin; above her heart.

"Linds, you're not old enough to be on your own; I'm not going anywhere." She held her child to her, the baby she had brought into the world was a young woman and there was a point where the meagre protection she could offer stretched no farther.

"That woman lost her daughter but she could have taken my mom and I know its your job and I gotta stay out but it was scary to be hearing stuff on the news and not knowing. Why do you, how can you just go back to it?" Lindsay's cheek was resting above her breast and for a moment she faltered but still knew her motivation.

"Because it is something I worked my way up to. But more then that because I have you Lindsay. I was never naive, nor did I ever try to shelter you from the world; I know it doesn't work. All I have ever been able to do is help get a few of them off the street, to get a few of them into places where they cant hurt anyone; so they cant get my baby. We have to face pain and sometimes we lose people we love; we have to keep going. As crazy as it is I love my job and sometimes it hurts but there are things that help; I have you." She whispered gently into her daughter's hair.

Silence fell and slowly the two shifted, Catherine lay on her back and her daughter settled on her chest, falling asleep to her heartbeat. It was a feeling that reassured Catherine as to why she kept going; eventually she lulled herself to sleep holding her precious, if almost grown child.


End file.
